LOTS OF FUN, FUN, FUN

Off the top of my head, in no particular order, over the past three days I have:

• Got pissed
• Got stoned
• Smoked a couple of cigarettes
• Had wild sex
• Lifted some weights
• Walked lots
• Slept heaps
• Read two books
• Ate chocolate
• Got chatted up by an Irish tour guide
• Laughed with some locals
• Eavesdropped on local happenings
• Witnessed a car accident
• Went to Church
• Found new inspiration

READING

I'm reading a book at the moment called Bread Body Spirit, Finding the Scared In Food by Alice Peck and, as usual, certain pages have spoken to me.

Sister Miriam Therese MacGillis in Food As Sacrament writes:

"Our present cultural experience of food has degenerated into food as fuel, for supplying the energy for our insatiable search for that which will fill the hungers of our soul. When we understand that food is not a metaphor for spiritual nourishment, but is itself spiritual, then we eat food with a spiritual attitude and taste and are nourished by the Divine directly."

and Marc David in How We Eat writes:

"What nourishes? What is it that truly feeds us and provides the satisfaction we seek? We believe that good nutrition nourishes us, and it does, yet it is easy to lose sight of all that nourishes and focus on nutrition alone.

The question of what nourishes is often difficult to answer because our dietary notions change constantly. What we thought was good to eat yesterday is not always what we think is good today.

Most nutritional assertions that originate from authoritative sources have a brief shelf life. Our nutritional information is not based on what is ultimately good to eat, but what we believe is good to eat at the time. Within this unstable state of affairs, one thing does remain constant - the connection between our relationship to food and our inner world. How we eat is a reflection of how we live. Our hurrying through life is reflected in hurrying through meals. Our fear of emotional emptiness is seen in our overeating. Our need for certainty and control is mirrored in strict dietary rules. Our looking for love in all the wrong places is symbolized in our use of food as a substitute for love.

The more we are aware of these connections, the greater the potential for our personal and inner satisfaction. For in changing the way we eat, we change the way we live. By focusing attention while eating, we learn to focus attention in any situation. By enjoying food, we begin to enjoy nourishment in all its forms. By loosening dietary restrictions, we learn to open up to life. By accepting our body as it is, we learn to love ourselves for who we are. And by eating with dignity, we learn to live with dignity."

GUIDED MEDITATION

I'm a big believer in meditation and it's ability to still ones mind and calm ones body. It's a spiritual practice I engage in most days. It affords me the authority to listen, to hear my inner wisdom and receive answers to the questions my conscious mind asks. Although I do not always heed the questions nor hear the answers I want to hear I am often brought back to these moments in the future. Some time last year I was told to "trust yourself" and I've never forgotten it although when I need these words most I don't tend to remember them (typical)! Yesterday, whilst amongst the spirited stones in Avebury I was led on a guided meditation by the audio commentary we had hired. I like to hear the history of what I'm seeing, to feel their life. Otherwise I'd just be looking at bloody rocks! It was amongst, what is referred to as, the Tolkien Trees I sat. I was asked to imagine the tree roots, where I was seated, connecting me to the earth, a light being channeled from the top of my head to the sky above. To feel the spirit of the stones surrounding me and hear their words of wisdom. As short and sweet as they were I will remember to "keep trekking and trusting." There are many different forms of meditation. I tend to flicker between them all not practising one specific kind. It is my time to tune out of the world and take time to simply just "Be." I am able to get in touch with my innermost essence and be fearless and free. Whereever I go or whatever I do I can then carry this stillness within me rather than the turbulent mind that once was. Oh, how my life has changed!

FOND MEMORIES

This morning, on my walk to a neighbouring town, Broad Campden, 1 3/4 miles down the road I was reminded of Pokolbin, the vineyard district of the Hunter Valley in New South Wales. In all my time I lived in Singleton, only a 15 minute drive away, I really didn't get to see very much of its beautiful landscape. I guess babies, breastfeeding and later, as they grow into children, tends to deter you from partaking in wine tasting events, which usually end up smashings, and the like. And I wasn't really interested in admiring and appreciating the land back then. Of course I do have many fond memories of occasions in the vineyards, my proposal from Dave being one. That's another story though. Here, I walked past a big, old, stone house and the sign out the front says "Malt House, A Country Guesthouse" and I recalled a time that brought a smile to my face followed with a giggle. A group of us had rented, for the weekend, a huge guesthouse in Pokolbin, just like the Malt House. We'd all pooled our money in and someone did a group shop of food that would feed us heartily for our stay. Copious amounts of alcohol were purchased and brought along. There were lines of coke snorted (I didn't do this) and joints smoked freely (I certainly did do this). I think we had prepared for this event with an afternoon of rolling spliffs at my place or maybe that was for another event (lol). Those days were still somewhat complicated at times but a different kind of complication. I think as we grow older, and some say wiser, we tend to over complicate matters rather than being young and free as we once were. Dave and I were still kinda new at being a couple therefore I'd already done the stupid young marriage thing but was rewarded with Jason as the outcome of that so I had to be responsible and motherly every second weekend. Perhaps that's why on every other weekend I was wild and reckless? I was still in my early 20's justifiably. My two accomplices, whom I shall refer to as J & J, and I were the smokers in the gang. Cigarettes that is which also meant that we were the main tokers also. I don't remember all the intricate details other than us being as stoned as they come, laughing our heads off, and somehow me being caught sitting in front of the fridge, with the door open, consumed with the munchies, ripping the skin off the barbecued chook and eating it. J & J, looking for me, busted me and we all rolled around the floor laughing before they too joined me in the chicken munching. We had some of the best times together. I fondly refer to those days as some of the best days of my life. Melancholy? A little! We all have these fond memories. Perhaps not the pot smoking, drug induced coma ones but we have something. Sometimes though, sadly, they seem to get buried under all of the shit and when the shit gets scraped away we're left with the better days that make us who we are today.

SINGING LIKE A BIRD

A Rumi poem says, "I want to sing like birds sing, not worrying who listens or what they think." I, sometimes, feel like that bird singing my song with attitude not knowing or caring who is or isn't reading my words. Ever since I started, I have loved writing and allowing my creative juices to flow, although I may not be deemed good at it. But who determines what is good or bad? I find it very therapeutic, calming and tranquil. Writing allows me to participate in detaching, allowing me to let go of any ideas I may have about how things should or should not be. I can then enjoy all the fun, mystery and magic in every moment in the journey of my life and remain open to all possibilities, and embrace the uncertainty of my future.

TOUCHING MY SELF

The English countryside is breathtakingly beautiful, specifically The Cotswolds, as I have probably said so many times before. It is just as I had imagined all those months ago. Hypnotic, gentle and serene. It is here, atop Dovers Hill, I have come today to get in touch with my Self through meditation, to put pen to paper and see what unfolds. Breathing in, I calm my body. Breathing out, I smile. I am brought back to the present moment to dwell on what a wonderful moment it is. I have been reading a book by Thich Nhat Hanh, brushing up my mindfulness skills using conscious breathing processes to truly be alive in my present experience and reality. This "adventure" was also a spiritual quest for me. A time to hear what makes me tick. I'm using warning signals such as church bells, traffic lights, washing up and children's laughter to bring me back to my true Self. I once wrote that we are "spiritual beings having a human experience" and it is now, more than ever, I feel the most profound satisfaction sharing this again. The air is cool, crisp and fresh and blows gently, swaying each blade of grass. There are birds chirping their language and communicating with another. Tourists pass by photographing the rolling hills that lead to the vales beyond. I smile at them and they smile back. There is no need for words up here as there is no need for thinking. We can just "Be" and encounter the beauty of everything just as it is. I wonder how I will ever return to a big city and all of the chaos associated. Come back Shelley, come back. Here and now, here and now.

YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THESE

Besides the fact they taste delicious?

The cute little bumble bee with a message just for me.